The One Change That Worked: The Way I Conquered Post-Work Tension Via an Unexpected Find in the Loft

One often feel as tense as a wound-up clock after work. My shoulders grow tense, breathing becomes rapid and shallow. Typically, closing my laptop with a thud used to lead to the squeak of a cork pulled from a bottle of red, the wine hastily sploshed into a glass, that first mouthful putting a much-needed full stop on the working day.

Then, several months back, I came across my now-adult son’s old school recorder in the attic. Curious, I blew into it, instantly reminded of the time when it drove me crazy – his daily practice a violent assault on my eardrums, the piercing shriek still reverberating through my head long after he slept.

But rather than consigning it to the bin, I brought it downstairs, together with a beginner’s songbook. Growing up, I had no musical talent whatsoever. I’d had recorder lessons at infant school, yet never got to try other instruments.

Searching online for recorder tutorials, I viewed many kid-friendly YouTube clips, and got a fingering guide on paper. Looking up simple recorder songs, I felt excited when I played a recognizable Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. Yes, a typical young child could learn it quickly, but as a tone deaf, impatient and stressed 51-year-old, it felt like a huge achievement.

My son asked what the hell I was doing (and begged me to quit), but I kept going – I enjoyed the sensation the recorder gave me. Forgetting notes easily meant I had to concentrate on the sheet of paper in front of me, and painstakingly copy the finger positions. My breathing slowed down, my attention sharpened, and after nailing that initial shaky melody, I felt euphoric. I could play an instrument.

Today, after some months, I can handle other children’s songs and a passable Ode to Joy. Yes, my rhythm is off, and I must jot down note names, but for me, it’s not about being skilled or a “musician” – it is simply about the pleasure it brings and how it clears my mind while playing.

I read that only one in six children learn to play the recorder now, which probably relieves parents, yet it made me wistful for my school years, and my son’s childhood.

I try to pick up my recorder every evening after work as my first activity, and during those 20 minutes, I am in my own little world. Afterward, I feel refreshed and happy.

My friends find it amusing, but one very wise therapist friend told me that I was reducing stress, and boosting mental skills, such as memory and auditory processing, which is precious at my age. And in terms of my day-to-day wellbeing, it’s a real “ode to joy” indeed.